Jem's New Direction
by theloneisland
Summary: What can you say about Jerrica Hadley? That she used to be called Jem? That she knew her way around a piano and was as damned as she seemed? A profound tragedy had brought Jerrica to McKinely and she had planned to stay under the radar. But an encounter with Rachel Berry would draw her to the glee club where she would learn more about herself than she ever could have imagined.


Jerrica awkwardly readjusted herself in the uncomfortable chair that she had been sitting in for the last fifteen minutes. The office of the McKinley High's guidance counsellor was the last place that Jerrica wanted to be and yet she found herself here, as apparently it was mandatory for all transfer students to have a meeting with the guidance counsellor on their first day. She didn't see the point of being here. High school never changed, the experience was universal no matter what school you went to. Pretty much everyone knew that and Jerrica was certain that this school wasn't going to be any different from the hell hole she used to attend. But here she was, sitting in those forsaken uncomfortable chair and counting down the minutes until she could leave this room

Jerrica wasn't thrilled about this whole situation. High school was hard enough already without being the new kid and yet this was her new reality. There was new everything. __Teachers, locker combination, classes, classmate, cliques and so on. __Starting over was the last thing that Jerrica wanted as she had been somewhat comfortable in her old set up. Life at Carmel had been relativity easy for Jerrica and she desperately missed her old life. But the dull ache in her left knee reminded Jerrica that her life could never go back to how it used to be.

Her mother had offered to come with her but Jerrica turned her down, she needed to do this by herself. The last few months Jerrica had no choice but to depend on her mother for pretty much everything and by doing this, by going to her first day of her sophomore year at a new school alone, she was regaining some of her independence. Trying to find some semblance of the person she once was. But that was going to be difficult given the circumstances and the fact that Jerrica was arriving a week late into the new school year.

This was her life now and Jerrica knew that she needed to make it work.

"Jerrica? Are you listening Jerrica?"

She hadn't realised that had zoned out and left the planet, but at the sound of her name Jerrica came crashing back down to reality. There waiting for her, with a troubled look on her face was Ms. Pillsbury, the guidance counsellor who was like a cross between Bambi and Snow White, all full of hope with these innocent doe eyes.

"Sorry. It's been a while since any one has called me that." Jerrica allowed herself to admit as the she awkwardly looked the guidance counsellor's office. It seemed so full of life with the various plants, the countless books, trinkets and variety of pamphlets

The name thing was complicated. Well… Not really complicated but it was a bit of a headache. From what little Jerrica knew herself, she had been given the name Jerrica at birth and her adoptive parents hadn't changed it when she had been adopted at the age of three. The nickname Jem? That came from a cartoon show in the 80's that Jerrica's mother had adored__. Jem__. As in Jem and The Holograms. The main character was called Jerrica whose alter ego was Jem, the lead singer of aforementioned band. Kind of along the lines of Hannah Montana but not. That was the only way that Jerrica could ever explain it to any one born after the 80's.

According to her mother, the fact that Jerrica shared the same name as the main character Jerrica Benton was pretty much a sign that she meant to be her daughter. It didn't make much sense to Jerrica and her dad had pretty much gone along with it at the time. Thus Jerrica keeping her birth name.

And for as long as she could remember Jerrica had been going by Jem. She used to tell people that Jem was much cooler than Jerrica hence why she tended to only answer to it. But really? Jerrica had gone by Jem because her parents told her growing up, she was their gem. Priceless and absolutely irreplaceable. No doubt it was corny as hell but her parents, her adoptive parents were the ones who wanted her and if it made them happy, Jerrica would go along with it.

"Yes, I See… Your file says that you go by Jem as well. Do you have a preference?" Ms. Pillsbury questioned.

Jerrica shrugged her shoulders. Jem or Jerrica, it didn't really matter to her.

"Is that all Ms. Pillsbury? Can I go please?" Jerrica hesitantly question, awkwardly rubbing the back of her head as was just ready for this to be over, to walk out the guidance counsellor's office and then fade into oblivion that was the student body of McKinley High.

Jerrica saw no need to drag this conversation out further than necessary, not that she didn't appreciate the effort that Ms. Pillsbury was going to in order to make her feel welcome. But it really wasn't needed and already Jerrica could see Ms. Pillsbury's reaction to her rather colourful transcripts. Whilst they weren't the worst, there were some parts of them that made for a rather interesting read. A long time ago Jerrica would have boasted about the way her transcripts read, but now? They were a walk down memory lane that she would do anything to avoid reliving. All Jerrica wanted now was to be given her new class schedule, some directions or possibly a map and be sent on her way and left to her own devices.

Although that seemed rather unlikely. Ms. Pillsbury struck Jerrica as the kind of guidance counsellor who actually gave a damn. A vast contrast to her precious counsellor at Carmel.

"Do you have somewhere else to be Jerrica?" Ms. Pillsbury questioned, her voice lightly tinged with bemusement and for the first time today, Jerrica found herself smiling.

"I'm not planning on ditching if that's what your worried about, at least not yet. Give me a month to settle in to this place and then I may start cutting classes. It's just that we really don't need to be having this whole conversation Ms. P, it's not exactly my first time at the rodeo. I'm just here to do my two years and leave." Jerrica honestly replied, somewhat surprised that she was being rather truthful as she wasn't really the type to engage any of her teachers in meaningful conversation. But Ms. Pillsbury seemed okay for a guidance counsellor

"No plans to join any extracurriculars?"

"God no." Jerrica replied, scoffing in amusement at the suggestion of her doing any extracurricular activities. That was funny.

"Why not?Looking at your transcripts, it seemed like you did several extracurriculars before the accident-" Ms, Pillsbury began and Jerrica half nodded her head, chuckling to herself about all the stuff she used to do before she quickly realised what her guidance counsellor had said. __The accident.__

Jerrica couldn't help but stiffen at Ms. Pillsbury mention of what had happened to her mere months ago, as she wouldn't really call it an accident. By calling it an accident suggested that what had happened was unintentional. But to Jerrica you couldn't call a drunk driver getting behind the wheel and then crashing into another car, killing the driver and injuring his fifteen year old daughter a mere accident.

"Yeah, well I did a lot of things before then." Jerrica grimly replied after a moment, forcing herself to look up at the ceiling in order to avoid crying. Jerrica could feel herself getting worked up, her heart felt like it was moments away from leaping out of her chest. The sound was deafening… Any mention of the accident set her off, even after all this time and Jerrica really didn't feel like becoming a bumbling emotional wreck today. All she wanted to was get through her first day of sophomore year, not relieve the worst day of her life.

But it was so hard.

Already she was thinking back to the day of the accident, her mind drifting back to the argument she had been having with her dad in the moments leading up to their car getting hit. Then came waking up in the aftermath of the accident, to the loud noises that came with the fire fighters trying to cut Jerrica and her dad out of the car. Even after so many months, Jerrica could remember the searing pain that she had been in, the smell of burning metal.

_'___It's o-okay Jem. We're going to be okay, you just gotta hold on!"__

The last words Jerrica ever heard from her father before passing out still haunted her, as hours when she woke up from her emergency surgery, he was dead. It had been three and a half months since the accident and yet, for Jerrica she could remember every single detail of what had happened like it had only occurred yesterday

"How have you been doing since the accident?" Ms. Pillsbury tentatively asked and Jerrica had to force herself back into the conversation.

If she didn't pull herself back to the reality and will herself to get her act together, Jerrica knew the only other thing left for her to do was go home and crawl back into her bed for the inevitable future. That was the last thing that Jerrica wanted. Even coming back to school albeit at a new one, was better than the three months she had spent curled up in a ball on her bed. It had taken Jerrica so long to climb out that pit of despair, she really wasn't in a rush to go back to that dark place.

"I don't talk about anything relating to the accident, ever." Jerrica quietly responded, her voice barely above a whisper but she was certain that the guidance counsellor had heard her.

"Jerrica-"

"Something bad happened to me, I know that Ms. Pillsbury… But talking about it isn't going to change anything, my dad will still be dead and the world I once knew no longer exists. Talking makes things harder and I'm tired of being tired, I just want to get on with whatever it is I have left." Jerrica stated with an exasperated sigh, she knew that Ms. Pillsbury was only doing her job but it seemed like the only thing that any one wanted to talk was the accident. No one could leave it well enough along and Jerrica was still struggling with it's aftermath with everyone she came across bring it up repeatedly.

"Well I am here Jerrica, if you do ever want to talk about." Ms. Pillsbury warmly added and Jerrica could see that the guidance counsellor genuinely meant that.

It was too bad that Jerrica would never take her up on that offer. But she appreciated the offer nonetheless.

"Don't worry so much Ms. P, I've got this."

Jerrica forced a smile on her face, her best and most brightest smile to convince Ms. Pillsbury that she was fine to go ahead and start her day without the need to get into unwanted conversation about her personal trauma. Eyeing up the red head counsellor, Jerrica could see Ms. Pillsbury looking right back at her with a small frown on her face wondering if she could take Jerrica at her word. It took a few moments before Ms. Pillsbury's frown dropped, to be replaced with a smile and Jerrica knew that she was in the clear.

Twenty minutes later Jerrica was free as a bird, minus the student guide that she had swiftly ditched the moment she had left Ms. Pillsbury's office. She meant no offence by it, however it wasn't really Jerrica's kind of thing. McKinley was just another one of your run of the mill public high schools, Jerrica was certain she could find her way around without any real difficulties.

Finding the female bathrooms had been easy enough and Jerrica was currently hiding out here in the ten minutes she had spare before she needed to report to her new home room. It was a lot easier than idly roaming around the hallways unsure of herself and looking like a typical new kid.

Looking at her reflection in the mirrors by the sinks, Jerrica let out a small sigh as she pushed some hair away from her face. That minor mention of the accident with Ms. Pillsbury had gotten Jerrica thinking. And as to be expected, the scar was still thee. It was as disgustingly hideous as it had been since the day Jerrica had received it at the time of the accident. The scar was a constant reminder of the worst day of Jerrica's life and even though the 4 inch scar didn't look as vividly angry as it did a couple of months ago, to Jerrica it was still as hideous as ever.

It wasn't exactly a subtle scar and it used to draw immediate attention to itself before Jerrica had cut herself some bangs in order to cover the scar up as it was noticeable, lurking just above her left eyebrow. Most days Jerrica couldn't bare to look at it. Her scar wasn't like the one Harry Potter had, it wasn't a cool shape and had some interesting back story that tied Jerrica to some dark lord. The only thing Jerrica's scar had in common with the fictional Harry Potter's scar was that both of there were associated with death and the subject of much scrutiny.

But there was nothing Jerrica do about it, she was most likely scarred for life. Yet, there was no time for Jerrica to dwell on it further as the sound of the bathroom door opening, forced her to let her bangs fall back into place. Quickly rushing to fix her hair back into place, Jerrica hadn't noticed that someone had come and stood at the basins along side her at first but the girl's appearance quickly caught her attention.

The girl was soaked with something, or rather had been drenched by as it was dripping down her face and it had quite clearly stained her clothes. But there was something about this girl with her dark features and warm olive skin tone, she seemed so familiar somehow and yet for the life of her Jerrica couldn't place where she thought she knew this girl from.

"You gotta a little something on your face." Jerrica began, feeling the need to state the obvious. All that talk about the accident was clearly messing with her head.

"I know."

The girl quietly shuffled around on her feet before proceeding to grab some tissues and start the processes of wiping whatever gunk was on her face off. It wasn't a pretty sight, in fact it seemed downright humiliating and the more Jerrica watched the more pity she felt for the girl. Jerrica had thought that her day was going to be hard, but clearly other people were having it a lot worse than her.

She shouldn't get involved. Jerrica knew that, she already had a lot of crap on her plate without getting drawn into someone else's but watching this girl and her earlier conversation with Ms. Pillsbury was tugging on her emotions. The little ones Jerrica had left at the moment. She would probably regret this down the line, Jerrica turned the girl towards her so that she could take over and fix this whole mess.

"Here, let me." Jerrica prompted, motioning for the girl to hand over the wet paper towels in her hand. Hesitantly the girl handed them over and Jerrica went about wiping off the gunk on the girls face. Although it didn't really smell like gunk, it kind of smelt like a strawberry slushie that you got at the local minute mart. "I'm gonna assume that you didn't choose to give yourself a slushie facial, and that someone decide to do it for you… What gives?"

"It comes with the territory of being in glee club."

Jerrica couldn't help but let out a low whistle as she continued to wipe away the remains of what used to be a perfectly innocent strawberry slushie. "Glee club, really? At my old school the glee club is practically royalty, they would more likely to be giving out slushie facials than be on the receiving end."

"What school did you used to go to?"

__Crap!__ Jerrica had said too much.

"It doesn't really matter, I'm kind of suck here now…" Jerrica woefully replied.

The next couple of minutes were in silence whilst Jerrica continued to help the girl get cleaned up and she had managed to do a fairly decent job. Although the girl's face now reeked of artificial strawberry syrup and her top was pretty much ruined. Knowing that she was too far gone to go back, Jerrica reached into backpack and dug out the blue sweater that she had dumped in there earlier. Rather hesitantly Jerrica held it out to the girl who seemed rather taken back by the gesture.

"My mom didn't think it was appropriate for me to wear a Def Leopard tee on my first day, even if it is vintage so she had me wear this. I took it off the moment I got out the apartment. I'm not really a sweater kind of person, and we look like we're the same size so it should fit."

"Why are you being so nice to me?" The girl wearily asked as she took the sweater and Jerrica could afford to laugh as she shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't know, it's a bit of a surprise to me." Jerrica admitted as swung her backpack back over her shoulder and began to walk make her way towards the exit. Her work here was done and it was time for Jerrica to leave before she found herself getting involved in any further messes, literally or figuratively. Jerrica's plan for today had been to fly under the radar and at the moment, that plan was currently half way out the window. She needed to reign things in as Jerrica had not come here to get dragged into any high school dramas, all she wanted was to get her diploma and get the hell out of Lima.

"Thanks! For all the help… I'm Rachel by the way, Rachel Berry."

Surprisingly Jerrica found herself spinning on her heels and looking back at the girl, or rather Rachel as 'the girl' introduced herself to. The last thing Jerrica had been expecting was for them to do the whole introduction thing but Rachel had done it, so Jerrica supposed she would have to do the same. It was only fair.

Opening her mouth, she was going to introduce herself as Jem but Jerrica found herself stopping. Before she had come to McKinley, prior to the accident Jerrica had been Jem to pretty much everyone who was in her life. However, things were different now. So many things had changed now and Jerrica wasn't even the same person that she was three and a half months ago. As Jerrica had explained to Ms. Pillsbury, the world she once knew no longer existed and in that world she was Jem.

Whether Jerrica liked it or not, this was her new reality and a new school possibly meant a new start. No one here knew her as any thing, Jerrica had a blank slate and could be whoever she wanted to be. She didn't have to be Jem. There was no pressure to be the girl she once was. Here she could be someone else. She could be Jerrica. Just Jerrica with no strings attached.

"I'm Jerrica."

"Just Jerrica? Like Madonna or Beyonce?" Rachel questioned and Jerrica let out a small smirk.

"Something like that."


End file.
